My Essay Collection:
Hi. It’s only taken me nearly 32 years of life; a couple of sobrieties; a year at an MFA program and a year at another; decreasing and increasing my Prozac (or whatever the generic name is that’s too hard to spell); gaining one-hundred pounds in a year and a half; and taking an oath of celibacy (after a dude asked me for a photo of my vagina last week and I sent him one of my hairy, pimply armpit instead) to finally realize that I am writing a collection of dark humor essays about living in my messy body.
Titles in Progress:
1. Fat Girl Cries Herself to Sleep at Night
2. Fat lady on the Brink of Death. Send Flowers.
3. To The White Boys On Tinder Who Keep Telling Me They Love Latin Food, Especially Flan
4. That One Time During Sex When He Said Omigod, You’re Body Is So Soft, I Never Want to Be With A Skinny Girl Again
***Note: We can only choose from these titles. I’ve tattooed all of them to my inner thigh to help me remember them, but also to act as conversation starters on all my dates.