Memoir in essays:
Hiii. It’s only taken me 33 years of life; a couple of sobrieties; an MS diagnosis; decreasing and increasing my Prozac (or whatever the generic name is that’s too hard to spell); my father leaving my mom for the next door neighbor; gaining and losing one-hundred pounds, over and over again; and eventually taking an oath of celibacy (after a dude, once again, asked me if he could pay me to smother him with my fat body) to finally realize that I am writing a dark humor memoir-in-essays. It’s about coming of age in a dysfunctional, working-class Latinx home in Las Vegas, then Miami, and then wading through the messiness of adulthood while still carrying around all that cute adolescent trauma.
And here are two versions of my pitch in a tweet:
Like David Sedaris but fatter, broker & Latinx. A humor memoir in essays.
MEATY x HUNGER
A humor memoir in essays. About living & dating in a fat body. My regular degular awkwardness. Dealing w/ my alcoholism. Growing up working-class & mixed-race in LV w/ Cuban roots & dysfunction. And taking up space wherever I go.
Titles in Progress:
1. Curmudgeon (and other SAT words I learned in high school and bust out at cocktail parties to sound smart)
2. Fat Lady On The Brink Of Death. Send Flowers
3. Are You Open To Squashing Or Wrestling? Asking For A Friend…
4. Pretty Sure God Make Me Fat To Keep Me Off the Pole & Other Essays
5. To the White Boys On Tinder Who Keep Telling Me They Love Latin Food, Especially Flan
6. This Will All Be Funny One Day
7. Thicker Than A Snicker
8. I Wrote This For The Haters But Also To Pay Off My Student Loans
9. Cushion For the Pushin’
10. Fat Girl Cries Herself To Sleep At Night
***Note: We can only choose from these titles. I’ve tattooed all of them into the shape of a cute braid around my thigh to help me remember.
The story is set in present day and follows the friendship of Cristina and her best friend Roberto, as they come of age in a Latinx barrio in Miami. Their friendship falls apart when Cristina is awarded a prestigious scholarship and leaves for college. And when Roberto is left behind, envious, he attempts to sabotage her. But the two eventually reunite, several years later, just before a deadly tragedy changes their lives, and the lives of everyone in their neighborhood, forever.
Short Story Collection: Smash
Two teenagers at an inner city high school bond over the absence of their fathers and love for badminton. A young woman regrets some of her choices after the drunk driving death of an old acquaintance. A high school history teacher makes an unlikely friend at an AA meeting she reluctantly attends. The short story collection, Smash, explores the difficult but often comic struggles people face with identity, friendship, obsession, desire, and loss as we come of age.